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AYU, CHILL !

i would like to keep it simple so tht the the people around me would undrstand wht im trying to deliver, but i got a lil problem where ill push my hard to be the best and it alwys turn out to be like
'WTH AYU?' or 'DON'T PUSH TOO HARD DEAR' pfffftt "-.- i often do tht. the word 'try hard' itself did make me cnfuse in some situation . like your lecturer would say write your best, and then they will say like 'dont make it too over can you?' seee, it is cnfusing (!) like now, when im writing this ill hv to find a right mood if not ill start to crapping around and the grammar are all over the place, tell you the truth im nt very good in grammar, here you go i say it right. at least i knw my weakness, im in the process to improve my writing skills people ! (y) :) so you can see i hv to do my assignments and most of em are in essay , i hv to come out an essay of 1000 to 1500 words about a particular title. thnks god i hv 2 more weeks to cmplete em all, i did strt writing one of the essay and it is about 'who am i?' in the essay i hv to include the human behaviour and all tht kind of stuff which i learnt in comm . SEE ? i was like 'who am i ?' okay tht one i can easilly come out about my own self BUT then the problem start when i hv to put the bla bla bla things in it. and i will be *shut off ammediately ! BUT guys, i did try to deliver wht the lecturers one , i already wrote for about 300++ and whenever i read it back felt like i shud throw this essay into the trash and come out w a new one ! GRRRRRR, CAUSE IT WAS HELL BAD ! if i were the lecturer and my student give me this kind of essay i would like 'WHAT THE abcdeF ' (!) so before thts happen to my lecturer let me trash it away first. so now i hv nthing YET . daymn, really hv to think of smthing. see you in the next 2 weeks .pffft "-.-

LAUGHING MY A** OFF :P

DIA SANGAT CUMEL? gosh, come on girl , itu you kate cumel? my god u really gt a bad taste, haha lol :P i dont like you so thts why im typing the crap out of you . wht a joke(gelak guling guling) dulu bukan main gadoh mcm budak kecik :)) then apa pun tak jadiiiii .you knw wht bet you and the new guy also will nt gonna last , cause u knw why? well, u cn figure it urself girl :) , stop being hypocryte cn you? and please appreciate the new guy, dnt treat him like a trash, like u used to do to ur old stupid lover :) , im out .

NO WORD -.-

no more A's in my life again please (?) its weird when sudden you realize tht after all this while u've been spending most of your time w the A's guys :), well i finally figured out tht the A's are nt meant fr me(trash time!). so basically i had enuff with A's , can i hve other alphabets please? like B or C or mybe Z hehehe :)) joking dude. fr the time being i would like to be on my own , trust me it is much easier, lately i hv a lots guin on in the past 2 weeks,butttt im too tired to write em all here, sorry. and yeah happy ramadhan to all muslims :)

FOR YOU

excuse me whoeva you are:) i knw my english sort of bad but at least im trying my best to improve it jerk :)

BEING CREATIVE

finally its august ! yeahhh i hv lots of stry to tell you bout, first of all im glad tht ive finally made myself cmfrtable stdying in lkw. lkw is the best i must sayyy ! so far so good :) i love lkw :') haha. ive made a nmber of friends, they are cool and fun to hang with ,and also the seniors are so hndsome&beautiful auww :P love it. the lectures are so cool , they even asked us to trnsform ourselve to become more creative in nor outside of us . ill try my best to take a step ahead from wht ive being now , being more creative of course:) but im a lil tired since ive to drive all away long . it tooks me bout 25 minutes to reach there, fuhhhh and last two days i nearly crushed in accident! thnk god it ws just a little bumped "-.- . on friday night we had 'a night to rrmber' in lkw, it is a part of the orientation. so i gt a lil annoyed w these pple who said 'this is horrible' ,'apa nak jadi' and bla bla bla, yeahhh i did put some pictures where they were dncing and all tht. and these pple commented w a stupid statement. WELL HELLO THERE, LET ME TELL YOU SMTHING, OVER 70% OF THEM ARE INTERNATIONAL , MEANS MOST OF EM AREN'T MUSLIM, SO WHT U EXPEXT? OBVIOUSLY THEY ARE PRETTY GOOD W PARTY, DUHHHH, '-.- they were just having fun, like you also. dnt tell me you never went to club,concert or gigs?most probably you will dance like hell, so tell me you're the same as them aite? only the different is tht u're MUSLIM and they are NOT. so whose being horrible now? tell me. so dnt jdge others, look at urself first dummy. dnt jst simply says 'lkw students are horrible' duhhhh wht a joke . ive step on it, and things are okay. if there are so called a horrible place, then why they become one of the best in asia?surely dn wnt to brag,it just, duhh these pple smtimes really do get on my nerves, imagine if i talk bad bout your college, surely you will be pissed too . so shut your mouth, you never know whts guin on in there, so dnt simply talk. haishhhhh "-.- , well move onnnn. humm, my first class strt on this mnday, cant wait to learn new thing:) well thts all ! xoxo

FIT IN :)

so today turns out to be a hell good day :) finally i did step on into the new world, thumbs up then ! :) it ws amazinggggg seeing lots of intrnational student, all of em are so handsome and beautiful auwww :P their dress up are so cool and sexy auwwww again :P i did enjoy the moment lol. i did make a new friends, so tmorrw lets the orientation begin ! :) can't waittttt, start from tmrrw until saturday, and the best part is theres no rule on wht to wear and i cn skip the orientation. :D thts pretty much a good news, and on the last day they will bring us to the fashion show -.- (?) tht's weird. haha. will update more soon ! xoxo :)

CANT LIVE WITHOUT IT

dear diary (which is not private at all,lol )

tmorrow ill be heading to lkw ,finally the time hs come! kind of nervous -.- pretending to chill ,lol. but these aren't the reason why im writing this.actually im such a mess right now, i couldn't think properly and i swore i wnted this to end before who knows whts cuming but unfrtunately it didnt. so i hv to deal w this when im stdying,duh im sure its guing to bother me a lott! hateee it. but couldnt blame all of it ,i shud blame it on me since im the one who let it in on the first place but anyhow im glad to do so, (headache-.-) well wht i mean is if i dnt let this guin in my head i wont be happy as i am before, so yeah it did made me happy once but not now, hoping it would again (!) most probably you wont undrstand wht i am talking bout aite? tht's great for you to not knowing the real situation is :). only me who knows the drama,lol. haishh im such a hypocryte , not to others but to myself . pretending tht evrything is fine as it looks like. *fake smile. see? i am hypocryte -.- , soo as i mention before, im sad . and i really wish tht whts on my mind rite now could come true soon. the faster the better ! pleaseeeee, i need this. i dnt wnt to loose it again , omgeeeeeeeeeee !actually i cn hv it back BUT if i do tht, this wont give any lesson, and it might happen again, so as much as i hate to wait fr it, i must do smthing fr the sake of us.ill let my ego side do the job ,-.- well duh just hope fr the best, or else ill crack ,really nt a big fan of it (!) ---.---

SAY IT SILENTLY

there's so much crazyness happening around me lately but in a good way of course :) im pretty much love this moment. next week ill be heading to lkw and i hv to be fully prepare fr whts cuming. i did meet new friend who currently studied in lkw too plus she also take the same course as mine, its quite nice to hve smeone who is in my course too. her name is anne and she's cool. cant wait to meet her in prson this 26 july! oh last two days i only slept fr 2 hours -.- , i really really wnt to pop off to sleep but i cant ! it ws like my eyes were being cntrolled by some devils -,- (?) but then today im over slept. haha :)) off to sleep at 11 and woke up at noon,after around 2 pm gladly i went down again until 7 (WTH AYU?) im tired can you see tht ? i need to cover up wht i missed :P so now im fresh,its 2 am and im still fresh :) thts why im writing this crap since i got nthing and nowhere to go . guess thts al fr today . xoxo .

VAA-CATION

i am lost. i miss my friends. 2010 has been the year with full of noth-iiing, dull and plain. gotta say ive spend a lot of my time stying at home , sleep late , eat a lot, and lotsss of cinema. study is the least. haha. ive been in hols fr a quite a time,this is the perfect time fr a vacation . need to rest my mind from all the mess, why bangi taada pantai? why?-.- , daym im out of mind . nak pegi pd? but too lazy to drive . can smeone take me there? pleeasssseeeeeeee, nak pergi beach :( rindunyaa .nak blik kampung la, they gt pretty beach . but then no can do laaaaa, by next week already off to stdy .and sudden now u finally figured this out? im such a mess. off people, OFF .

END OF HOLS!

limkokwing here i come darling :))))) finally ! wuut wuut~

KEEP ON COMING

my thaught need a fully rest, im so fed-dupp people, how am guin to deal w this ? trust me im nt 'miss oh you can hndle it' im pretty lost rite now, thinking all the probs really gimme the tension. i dnt knw wht to say anymore, ill keep on silent as long as i can. they would say 'ayu,sooner or later u hv to face this,you cant runaway' duhh, i knw tht! , but im nt the who causing prblems, and sudden im the one who got stuck and hv to deal w this , so trying to be more responsible out here, im nt guin to keep on silent instead im guin to make it stop! pfffft gtg.

JUDGE IT?

some people would say 'ayu its guin to be all fine, you can do it' other would say 'if you take this as a joke u'll end up being nothing' and also this 'its okay fr you to make a mistakes,this is how you strt to learn from it' so im hardly cnfuse w all of em.it ws the sme thing as last year, your teacher,your parents would say 'if you didnt come out w a flying colours in your spm, u'll be dead' but actually its not even close . who says spm is the end of the line? 'death' is the only deadline, as long as we live we still cn keep up on wht we hv missed. i once believe in those words where if you dnt pass spm u'll be nthing, but alhamdulillah i did past, but if you look it thru every aspect, people who didnt manage to pass is nt a loser, at least they tried their best or they did took the challege, thou they didnt success like others but doesnt mean they cnt be a successful prson one day. its all depend on each individual. i did sme research where most of the richest man in the universe did not being marked as the 'best student' or 'the brain' , but instead they were called as the naughty kids . kids who alwys made a mess or to be known better the 'class clown' . most of pple would criticized them as a loser, zero future . but now look where they stand ? they become the president, a successful businessman or owns one of the biggest house. so you see do nt judge a book by its cover,they might look messy but all it matter is the creativity and the thoughts. you got both of em ill ensure u cn be one hell success person :) so dnt take it serious when people saying bad things bout you, rmmber you're the only one who knows the real you. so deny all the words, and fight it back by showing the opposite meaning of wht pple hv said bad bout you.

*its funny when i start to write out wht i hv in my mind and will end up as a motivation,lol

sorry if there is an error, weak in grammar and spelling too,lol .

xoxo,

ayu

A WHOLE NEW CHAPTER

hello diary,

i hv 15 days left before entering the new world. im so excited and at the same time im soo freaking nervous XP guess god already set up his plan,hoping it will be easy to handle it soon.so currently im alone, evrybody are hving a great time without me , they did ask me to join em but unfrtunately im nt in my best mood, plus i need a rest. so i decided to rest at home. my dad once asked me to strt digging a lil bit bout mascom since im guin to learn it, but until nw i still hv no clue wht is the definition of mascom.oh shoot !okay dad i'll start digging it now :)). oh ya! all of em said 'you betta enjoy the time u hve left ,or else u'll regret it and when u gt bsy w assignment the u will scream I NEED A REST ' hihi. yes people i will . but i already gt bored w hols , cant believe i would say this but I CANT WAIT TO LEARN NEW THING :) alamak, i am now dead

-.- dead of idea to write. (what the?) gtg, xoxo muah ! :)

MAJOR HIT

twilight saga is the best ! omgeee they are so HOT ! i am melting people :') it ws worthwhile to spend rm11 fr this .told you it ws an awesome movie ! see these is the kind of movies we shud watch, im willing to spend another rm11 to watch it over again and this time w double chicago beef' auwww :) SO PEOPLE IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCH IT YET HURRY GRAB EM' PURSE AND RUN TO THE NEAREST CINEMA YAWW! :PPPP

so ill take this oppurtunity to tell you tht if i were kriten stewart which im not :P stop it people , ive said 'if i were' haha. i would choose to be w jacob the werewolf cause you see both of em are awesome and hndsome of course xp, but if i would see it on my side, ill risk my life fr someone who im in love with, so according to this stry, she's in love w both of em so u see its nt like a nrmal girl who need to choose one normal guy, this is diff, its either u choose to be w vampire or werewolf (it is pretty damn hard) so as you knw edward is the vamp and jacob is the werewolf, i would choose jacob as i said before cause first he's hot and own a hot body xp . hahaha. then he's a wormblood and whenever he turns to werewolf it ws amazing and i ws impressed by it compared to edward, wht he got ws only a glow on his face *lame. haha .and plus if ill choose jacob i dnt hve to die, i can be in love and also still cn enjoy my life as a human being. thou werewold kinda stink a lil but duh ill get over it soon. hihi. and yeah one more thing i dnt hv to kill people's life fr the sack of em blood . :) so ill choose my darling jacob . :p haha. well thts pretty much it. done, go see it NOW ! and make your decision ! done --crap :)

XOXO,

ayu,

ONCE A COMPLETE LOVABLE STRANGER, :)

dear diary,

currently its raining out here, feel the wind blow fuhhhhh (i like) since the astro said 'service is unavailble' so i i decided to write em'. its 2.47 pm and i miss him so bad :( , its weird in such way, im nt used to be like this and ill get annoyed easilly w man, but somehow i dont this time. i really love him and thts kind of freak me out (!) but on the other hand im glad to do so . we didnt actually knew each other before, he was absolutely stranger who sudden came into my life by saying 'can i be your friend?' and i seldom believe in such words, cause ill choose my friend , not saying tht im too choosy but duh evryone need to choose friends or else u'll end up being good or being bad. so myself said 'do not give this man a chance' but then after a few days i ws a lil bit trying to figured out who is he? and why sudden he ran into my life at the right time, fyi i did say this 'this time i'll wait fr a complete stranger to knock the door of my heart' and suddnly he did tht. and without saying a single word i called him back fr the first time. haha. we talked over and over again and soon we enjoyed each other's company. u see he did made me happy and i was smiling at tht time :) god did listen . hihi.and now im officially w him, he ws once a stranger and now he's part of my life. he's different in his own way and tht is the reason i want to be w him . i love you.

NEED TO SAY

dear diary,

im grateful fr everything tht hv cmpleted my life. thnk you fr giving me the super awesome parents (Y) , cool cuzy(s) and true friends, and thank you fr meeting me up w him. i couldn't ask fr more. thank you god.and i hope these would never change, and please do not take em' away from me i swear god i cant live wthout them. they are the reason why im still living my life until today.ill ensure evrything would be perfect as they are. :) thanks again. xoxo

THESE LYRICS

please dnt make me give this to you :( do not let me down. ily.

NOTHING LEFT BUT PIECES

i miss them so bad. :( i miss joking around w them, miss laughing and miss evry moment we had. i used to say hw much i wnted school over and finally it did come true and too bad i started to miss em bad :( i miss woke up 6.30 in the mrning and had to go to school , the moment i entered the gate ill cursed a lot. haha. and then had to climb to the fourth floor, omgee tired enuff! went to classroom and met them who i call a friend, we had so much memories, weather its bad or good we were still enjoyed evry moment of it. and yes who can frget the teachers? all of em are super awesome. i miss pn marminah so much, fyi i used to hate pn.marminah haha nt bcause she ws cruel it jst tht i ws so freak out when it comes to her. i would ran away evrytime i saw her. hahaha. , she was my addmath teacher thou, smtimes i did had a goosebumps when i bump into her.what a chicken=.= and now she's my favs teacher and i really love her so much :) hihi. you would probably shock if i would say i miss BERATUR KAT DALAM DEWAN :'))) w all the girls, i think i had enuff w hols, ive been in hols fr 7 months already and really get bored w it. i dn own a job and eventually i hve nthing to do instead of lying on my bed. and to make it more sad, all of em are gone, and i hv nobody to hangout w. this 26 july ill be away too. to summarize em up, all i gotta say is I MISS SCHOOL, I MISS MY FRIENDS,I MISS HOW WE USED TO BE.

STOP THE NAGGING

So, as I mentioned in one of my previous post ---ill be away this 26 july . hope evrything will be fine.guess im all alone waiting to be called and hv to deal w orientation. really nt a big fan of it, but however i hve too,urgh im nervous like hell ! "dear god,help me and help me ! " fuhhhhhh. *nagging. move on, u're nt guin to believe this but i haven't watch toy story3 yet , *bump on the head. yes people, freak out enough?. supposedly i watch it w him but unfrtunately it ws nt my lucky day, *still nagging.and now my mood already flew away .*this time more nagging. humm so much of ty3 drama-,- . mybe ill watch it thru online or cd. so not cool, not cool.im a loser ouh geez poor me *nagging again. currntly im nt feeling hyper like i used to, guess lots of things did messing up my mind,i dnt even ask fr this to happen .i cant take full blame of it. need to swing my mood away fr a while. anybody wanna join me? AWAYYYYYYY AWAYYYYYYYY AWAYYYYYY

love,

N A G G I N G *:)

MY FIRST THING TO DO

okay fuhh im trying not to eat too much . im overweight -.- and the worst part is i gt only 30 more days to loose em. can i do it? haishhhh it supposed to be 1 month before but because of my degilness i didnt manage to do it on time. and now im pretty much rushing things up. i dn wnt to keep up w un-healthy diet., i hv to eat its a must. but this time in a small quantity . the diet start tonite ! i already strted it :) . hope ill mnage to end it ! so guys help cheer me up ! be my cheerleader diet :))))))) love, xoxo.

ROJAK MARII

im in my dad's office currently waiting fr him to go home . im being so mengada nak follow daddy pegi keje .well whts not to like, his office is in bb and whenever he gt busy ill culik his driver fr a while and took me shpping around bb. walaweeiiiii memang ayu ni kn. ish ish. haha. and somtimes i do ask fr him(daddy) to accmpany me . yes, my daddy sgt sporting gituuu :) haha *gedik. so i bought two clothes, murah gila and i was like :D yet lawaa. and OHHHH ive found a perfect bag for me !! IT IS SOO CUTE :') but then its 400 plus :( oh geez penat pujuk daddy belikan haha *teruk btul, then he said 'i already bought you one kan? ' MEMANGLAAA , humm tkpe tkpe ill pujuk my dad beli jgk or perhaps get a job mybe? dpt duit tuuu ,one month like rm900, ive asked this one donut punya kedai (ape punya ayat nii) and accrding to her one month boleh dpt 900 .omgeeee boleh beli double bag tu 0_0

hahahaha. gila betul . alamak lupa nk take a snap of tht bag -.- kalau tk boleh paste kt sinii, haha

*mengada. oh i tgh online kt blik kwan my dad :) ceroboh sebentar. haha, its okayy kwan daddy outstation. and somehow ive imgine kan bagus if im the boss.i own this table and this room :P da mcm bussinesswoman-.-. its okay insyallah i cn hv my own office room someday, and i want it in purple, HAHA :) alrite gtg byebye

I NEED A REST

so now im sad .hum i jst wnted evything to be fine. they come and go,really had enuff w them and yes these words always be my day word. but i seldom believe in it. i knw i let 'weak' took over me. in the outside i may look like a girl who is pretty much didnt care when it comes to relationship but nobody realizes tht im fragile, i didnt get the fact why im putting myself in this situation.some days i think ive got everythin all figured out, and other days im like, wht the hell is going on? duhh sometimes its okay to careless, dnt hve to figured all up , all we need to do is live the life without worrying about nthing. this world does not revolve around us, we need to keep our head straight up . actually, im pretty much lost right now. i dnt knw wht the hell im crpping bout but it did help me to calm down. do you ever wonder why people give second chance to others? as fr me i dn believe in such thing, you alwys heard this term involve in a relationship where most of girls give second chance to pple they love, but wht if this second chance did nt make the situsation better? isn't it just a waste of time, and clearly it hurt twice. and somehow pple get over it. if this happen to me im sure i dnt hv the guts to frget and move on just like tht. its stupid do you see tht? why would we wasting our time giving pple second chnce as you knw tht this prson will nt even appreciate it.and to make it more hard, we cant see things ahead of us. we dn knw weather this prson will evntually change themselve or being the same. the only way to find out is give them another try. its a good thing if they did change but felt sorry fr someone tht hv to deal w pple tht wont chnge.got to say it takes a lot of guts to do so. it doesnt count how many miles you run ,you might think you hv end this insanity but we're just avoiding it fr a while, this life is like a circle, how far u run or how far you go you will soon get yourself into the same situation over and over again . its the way of life, yes you cn change it by only thru believing in urself and be strong in order fr you to keep ur feet on the ground. and yeah one more thing,believe in yourself before believing others. its a huge transformation. hum guess thts all i hv in mind. lots of mix up .humm im a lil bit down bout smthing ,and i need it to let it all out. feel a lil better right nw. gtg. tc people.

*TOOT *CENSORED *TOOT

howdie people :0 howya duin ? weiiiiiishh didnt gt the chance to post a long one ----- . good news i hv mood to strt crpping around :8) currently im feeling much better so high five me! i hv my fams,friends,and i hv him . i love youu like a big fat kid loves chocolates, weheeeuuuu:P today is 20 jun means tht i hv anotha 27 days before off to study *love. cant wait to study ! cant wait to meet new people, cant wait to live a life as a college student *thumbs up! oso cant wait to meet international student wuhuuuu 0-O :) , hope tht this uni tht im guin to is worthwhile. 26 july is guin to be a day w full of suprise and nervous! *dup dap dup dap. hoping fr the best . enuff w this and lets move onnnn. i miss my friends -.- (aqila,fana and putri) these three pple ive not seen fr 2 weeks suda. rinduu. :( lets hgout shall we? jst gimme a call okay drling. duhh done crapping -.-

*sikit ni je? call it long enuff(?) :D

AYU IS

on her way to collect money :)

CAN I BE MORE POSITIVE?

im back with a smile drawn in my face :) im glad ive finally put aside all the shits ! *clap your hand please, :) okay here it goes, im glad tht he promised to change and i hope he will . hum the last post ive mentioned bout hw dissapointed i am w him and im being so stupid fr letting him in but actually im glad to do so, im glad knwing him. ill take back all the words and try to be more positive :). ive been single fr 1 year and a half . and yeah i did got myself in a reltionship status but it ws just a couple of weeks, so guess its uncountable.so im guin to see weather he change or not, and if he does fr sure ill be glad to be w him officially:) well so far so good,lets see more shall we :) OH i had a weird dream last night, a really WEIRD one. and if its come true im nt sure weather i cn hndle it. :( well thts all fr today. tc .

*did you notice hw much i put the word 'glad' in today's post? :) CLEARLY I AM GLAD

:D

BREAKDOWN :'(

its hard fr been in a chpter all alone, wishing he would jump into the same chpter as mine and end it w a great ending. but turns out it was nt like wht ive imagine. another bump on the head again ayu :'(

DONT ASK!

PAPPARARAPPAAAARAPAAAAAAA ! IM TOTALLY SCREWED PEOPLE , LET THE GAME BEGIN -.-

I KNOW ITS COMPLICATED

nur farhan atiqah told me not to fall w boy's crappy lie, thnks sayang fr that .i feel sorry fr her, dear u hve to be strong in order to survive. i knw u hurt so bad but u're a smart girl, surely u cn think wisely. if tht person really care bout u and loves u as mush as u did he wont do the shit in the first place. well duh mybe it cn be frgiven if it is the first time but drling no hell fr the second time. if its happen again shoot girl u hve been sign up into the GAME WORLD. *if you knw wht i mean -.- , so chill . i knw its hard to let go smeone who is pretty much involve in evrythin you do but also u need to think bout urself too. do not make urself being in miserable, its disturbia i tell you. so all i gotta say is try to leave all the shits behind and move on . strt to write a new book ,thou the first one did nt cmplete then wht the heck jst let it be. no crime fr unfinish chpter aite? :) so write a new one and this time make sure its worth it. dnt wrry drling true love do exist, u gotta keep tht on ur mind. sooner or later the one who is meant fr you do come.

love,

ayu

ITS ALL BOUT YOU

well duh i keep on listening the same song over and over again . some how i addicted by it. its paramore 'the only excption' . if im nt mistaken since last month i strted to get crazy w the song. weird huh? yeahhhh -.- . humm i did play it by guitar and i keep on plying it until now. thou sounds like a frog but heh wht the heck , im the only one there and oh mybe my fams did hear me sang. HAHA. wuupsiee ! whenever i gt bored ,alwys grab my guitar and strt strumming it. even my dad said 'ayuuu, can you do smthing else rather than jst plying tht thing' ,' ehem dad, what else shud i do? im bored to death and this is the only thing tht cn keep me from guin crazy(w a smile of course) ' haha see, my guitar is my life, my boyfriend :) it will be there fr me when i gt bored or sad. see this is the type of byfriend tht i need. A GUITAR . hummmm sound a lil bit crazy ? yes indeed-.-

i fall in love w it. okayyyy, ayu you strt to creep urself up ! hehe:)well duh alrite then, my guitar is my SOUL . thts it. so now im currently alone, time to strum it ! hve a nice day people , ":)

MADE ME CRY !

i miss youuuu :( but wuhuuu me i dnt knw whose tht prson is. i gotta say i hv two or three people tht i kinda miss,still searching fr this person. gahh weird :| so imma guin to avoid from being too weird"-.- so lets moveee to other things shall we? hum i jst cme back frm cinema, LBS did make me cry :( grrrr, u shud go and see it. and yeah betta off u see it w ur friends rather than ur boyfriend,trust me ! it will be a hugeee disaster if u watch it w him, why is tht? duh, figure it out yourself . omzee what the hell ayu ? sorry guys got a brain damage'-.- .hum well lack of idea . later people !

ROLLTHE EYES

so here's the thing. STOP STALKING ME CAN YOU? and yes we didnt knw each other but its weird when i find out you're pretty much a faker, actually u knw lots bout me . HAHA call it desperate. YES YOU ARE . i barely know you and it suprising me to knw afta all this while u're busying collected info bout me . *LAUGHING . so tell me whose being hypocrite and desperate ?:)

MUAH MUAH KISS TO YOUU *EUWW !

*deny my words? but then i wnder why you open my blog this time?deny it again, DUH LIKE U SAID BEFORE U DNT EVEN KNW ME SO WHT THE HELL ARE YOU DUING NOW?STALK ME AGAIN AND AGAIN? HAHA WHAT A FAKE :)

GAMEOVER

am i the one who need being tested? or you are? as far as i knw im not the one who causing problems. you did, yes i pointed at you! i dn get the fact why you being like this? i barely knw you ,we suppose to become better but guess wht its worst than ever. u keep lying on my face and i wnder why? it is bcause u love me? OHSHOOT this is the first time i deal w someone who showed his love thru lie . you knw i hate liars but why are u becoming one of them? actually im nt sad instead im relieved. finally god shows the real you. yes,THE REAL YOU. i dn need someone like you entered my life and you dn even deserve my second chance ! but wht the heck im being asshole before and letting you in . and i gt to admit tht was my biggest mistake! call me cruel? i dn give a damn. all i need you to do is earn my trust. is it hard fr you to do so? see, this is the problem w guys, they cant tell us the truth. we wont bite you , we jst wnted you to be honest ,be a good man fr a sec. sacrifice a little would you ,well i dnt think its necessary to call it as 'sacrifice' ,more suits is a MUST term.when u're in a relationship u MUST be honest w each other, no option. and this MUST term alwys be the hrdest thing to fulfill.its nonsense in some way. so to make it clear, dont ever contact me gain. and i took all the things tht u hv said to me as a LIE . all of it. i forgive you and please dnt disturb me again.

*and if you pissed w the post, WELL SORRY. just another beautiful gameover.

POP W CORN

so jst got back from movie. went there w lilbrotha and paan along . 'nightmare on elm street' was okay :) at least i dn feel regret watching it . so yeah to freddy ! actually i ws being so out of cntrol, supposed i watch it yestrday but dnt hv cmpany : soo today was like 'I NEED TO SEE IT TONITE -.-' so i pushed my brotha to watch it w me then he said yes , geez i love youuu :) ! haha so cant wait to watch it. so we off at 8.30 and the movie strt at 9 , so paan was like 'book tickets tk?' and i ws like ' chill, today is weekdays, so must be tk ramai org punyaa:)' BUT THEN ---.----

IT WAS A LONG QUEUE ,duhhhh cam BAB IIIII . felt like crying and yeahh i did a little ! geez shame on you gsc.(what?) haaa so i did calm and queue like others, then when it was our turn . me was like PLEASE GOD, HELP ME *w the crack face . then miracle happend! they got only 3 seat left which its a good seat so me was head over heels ! :P haha miracle do happen rite? so we gt to watch it:) HIHI. so next shows would be lagenda budak setan (shhhhh, its a cool movie!) ,karate kid,she's out of my league,the twilight saga :eclipse ,and toy story 3 :)

*did you notice hw much i put the word 'so' in today's post?'HAHA :)

THIS TIME I MADE IT SHORT -.-

i need a job at least fr 30 days please-.- total desperate. need a job ! lack of money and lack of things to do. im bored by duin nothin.all i do is watch some movies, survey,and go out . THTS IT I NEED A JOB '-.- , can someone help me w this? i want money so i cn spend it all. (WTH) hihi. yeahh im a shopaholic people. hummm gtg. need to think on how i cn get lots of this green beutiful paper.

BEAT THE GUYS UP!

i wnt to webbycam w my gilrfiess :P i jst cnt get enuff w them.wuuuuu missing evry single of them :') i love you girls&dudes too. u brighten up my day , i gt lotsa friends out there but still im w youu. i love you. wanna kiss? MUAH. girlfriends, please wake up and run away from ur jerk boyfie's shadow-,- it jst wont make evrything better. *i repeat BOYFIE and EX-BOYFIE too :). FRIENDS are all matter , not BOYFRIEND. they are just pple who sudden got involve in your life.they dunt hv the right to cntrol your life. WAKE UP MY DEAR, stop this insanity ! stand up and take cntrol of your life back ! dnt let this guys hunted you by your own tears. stop letting tears because of them. we shud be strong grilfiess.we'll see by the end of the day whts left is us(girl) . byfriends come and go girl. dnt let a guy ruin your life. it is jst a waste of time. im nt saying tht u shudnt be in love . im just trying to say tht,

you can be in love, but dnt let the love term beat your own self up.

"if you knew tht he's a jackass, then LEAVE him . dnt wrry girls, they are plenty of nice hot college guys who are thrilling to go out w you. :)

love,

ayu

YEAH !

hello citizen :) . currently im really in a good mood so yeay me:P! cheers fr me people , BIG LOVE :* so tday i met dania and ika . hs been a long time since our last met :) they both in mscom so i ws vry excited to hear bout mscom frm them :) so yeah i gt the basic info bout it. :p and i knw ive made the right choice by picking mscom as my course .so again yeay me :P ! 'can you stop being too happy ayu? u might get sad aftaward.' -.- hummmm yeahh i wish i cn be like this evryday. dnt hve to wrry bout anything.sometimes its gud fr us to careless. start to care bout urself fr a split of second and mybe evrything will be fall on ur side. tht's awesome huh. 'so ayu now u being emo?' -,-

WTH crap im duin it again ! geez ayu wake up please! thnks pple i love you:* and dn wrry im okay .to yazmin yusoff i knw u're guin thru tough time but jst rmmber one thing tht WE'LL ALWAYS BE ON YOUR SIDE NO MATTER WHAT HAPPEN so dnt wrry okay.love you friend :)

GIRLFIESS

yazmin yusoff, amalina shaifol jamal, maryam arbakariya,amalina ismail&syahin weng(?) .HAD LOTS OF FUN W THEM YEST :DD muah muah kiss to all of you on the cheek :) all of em mising is 'aqilah bakhtiar jamilee, nurfarhana aziz,atiqah anuar and putri intan hzwani BUT dn wrry already spent time w them except putri -,- she ws busy w her boyfie DUH. see i rmmber my friend's full name :') isnt it awesome? hihi. *mengada la . so my sayang sayang cant wait to go out and dating ramai ramai lagi :') this time no guys are allowed okay :D GAHAHA. so imma stop now, off to eat -,-

what? NO ! okay okay pssstttt off to watch some muvies. 0,0 hee. toodles !

CLICK SPACE

apa cerita my-space saya? not my-space, its MYSPACE yg mcm facebook tuu. 'ek elehh we're not tht dumb la ayu -,-'. duhhh(?) haha. yeahhh sorry guys saja mggedik sikit :8) soo as i ws sying its been a long time since i open myspace acc. i got addicted w fb somehow-,- . pagi pagi fb. petang fb. semua full time spend kt fb, special sungguh fb ni-,-. BUT AYU bila nak ade bf plak? fb, bf(?) tettttt. people, people .stop talking crap. haha. i dn need a bf to srvive , i just need FB :) well i dnt need an entertainment to survive, or am i? 0.0 wuuuuu~ . geez wht happen w me ? sddnlly hyper tiba tiba. I NEED TO SLIM . enuff said :) .i knw u guys will deny my word, and smtimes so do i. but not again ! I HAVE TO GET INTO SHAPE WITHIN 2 MONTHS. possible it is ! :DDD thumbs up dudeyy. *insyallah boleh kurus :') . come pple join me? come comeee~ lalalala~

----------------------,---------------------

STRUGGLING IS A BIG WORD

im tired of driving sane sini -,- seriously makes me bored. so ive been struggling in my mind on how am i guin to keep myself fresh soon when i hv to drive away to college tht takes bout 20 mins

-,- . the point is its a straight long road. i mean from bangi to ptrajaya also u cn feel hw much boring and along way STRAIGHT. and i hv to be on time and put my head up to drive away to cyberjaya. im nt cmplaining in other way, it just tht im scared ill gt sleepy when driving. HOPE NOT. imagine, pagi pagi buta u already on the road to cyber, its a fresh sleepy mouning. fyi im nt a mouning type so it kills me to wake up so early -,- duhh the last time i wke up early was the last day of school. haha. so just hoping im nt gonna get sleepy and crash O-O daym! tht is scary wuuuu~

*dear god, please avoid me from disaster, i want to live . i want to finish my studies w flying colours, i want to work n make my own money,i want to chase dream,i want to make mum&dad proud, and oh oh i want to hve kids :) cute kids :) so please god. im begging you.amin~

ILOVEYOU F :)

so today was a blast! :) finally got a chance to spend plenty of time w family tercinta , auuuwww :8) , has been a long time since we went out shopping togetha getha gahhh really miss tht :') we went to klcc and off to mid~ . i mean nthing would be more fun than shopping w them:) GAHHHH, SUKA SUKA TODAY hihi. so i bought some incredible stuff :) and yeah we all bought things. so geez thts all fr today i guess. mybe the next post would be more intrsting ayu? humm whatt? this is more than intrsting okayy. spending time w ur fams is so cool *thumbs up ayu thumbs up! :D

POSSESSED

so yeahh today is holiday fr the students and pple who work. as fr me ive been in holiday since january. gahh not too thrill bout holidays anymore,turn to boredem i guess. got nthing to do -,-

im away to collge this 26 july, god ive like 2 more months of hols.holiday holiday holiday and oh guess wht ? another HOLIDAY , u cn see how dsperate i am rite now . haaaa. oh i sort of freak out last night by this

believe it? duhhhhh dnt ask me , im -________-

try to open utube and discovered this. they are lots of songs and vids tht already worship satan, rihanna the worst.try to open video clip 'disturbia' and 'umbrella' and u'll be shock by the hidden message of her songs and video clips.and yeah try search fr 'backward songs hidden messages'.

many of these pple are worship them in silent.

humm , daym this is scary.

PAGI INI

got the blog bckground thru yazmin yusoff, gahhhhhh trima kasih yazmin drlingg :P GAHAHA

KACANG PEAS

so whts in my mind ? lets talk bout LOVE gahhhh , romantic ? nahhhh eeeuuwww say no to tht ! would prefer a jackass :p other than tht ayu please? humm let see, how bout 'the fake friends' shall we? okay lemme start first :) fake friends also stndup fr 'bff' (best faker friend) the word fake itself is huge, here we got hypocrite,copycat,liar,biatch(not a suitable word fr children under age 20, erkk) . guess evry prson got pple tht they hate or dislike or mybe pretend to like, i admit i do hve fake friends. im nt usually close w them . so thts fine. hee boring pulak ckap pasal ni

-,- no more idea for bff, haha . move on pple------->

like to say tht OHHHH

IM ON MY WAY TO BELIEVINGG ~

got the lyrics frm paramore the only exception , the truth im nt even close to believe , im so far away back . gahhh even i cant see the word believing , but then im satisfied by it . im glad i dnt hv the guts to believe :) IT FEELS GREAT.. in a diff way

the truth again pple,

IM LOSTTTT. PRETTY MUCH IT. thts why im crapping around. you cn see it aite?

duhhhh do not blame me, i hve a lil brain damage-,- need to fix me.

well thts it. byebye people ,byebye BIATCH :) *BAD WORD AYUU ,BAD !

SAJE BUSAN , -,-

i need someone who hs the guts to take care of me, someone who is gntlement enuff, matured enuff to knw whts right and whts not. i want him as a simple man . not like a huu-haaa type. i dn want someone who gt involve with '''''''''' these kind of guys cant even take care of their own. i want someone who cn tell me truth, alwys being honest and knows how to treat a girl. im nt looking fr a rich or popular or how hndsome he is. i need someone tht is perfect in my eyes, thts all i can ask.

:)

TICKING

i need my soul back. guin to close this chpter and strt a fresh one, yeahhh thts pretty much wht i cn dscribe now.need to chnge myself to smthing tht pple would respect me more .im bored and tired to be the same .a diff ayu with a diff new life, means tht i wnt to achieve smthing tht cn make my mum&dad proud. theres nthing i would be proud of to do. so im guin to start learn a lil bit bout communication, at least once im away to college i already got the basic in mscom so i wont get too shock learning the sbject. duhh did i tell you i hv to drive 20 mins from home to college. so guess go and back would be total up of 40 mins, humm not bad huh? well at least no jam and no tol . ill be fine by tht .oh im so pissed jst nw with my dad-,- grr i hate him jst fr awhile, he acted as if he doesnt trust me anymore, i went to jog jst nw and sddnly he got mad and told me tht im not telling him the truth, he said 'jogging ape skrg ni ? da ada kete asyik kua je! da blik!' EHEM EXCUSE ME DADDY , IT WAS 6 PM IN THE EVENING , WHT DO U ASPECT? AND SLALU KELUAR, WHEN ? BILAAAA? GEZZZZ SAKIT HATIII ! so tht was like 1/2 of our drama, -,- why he didnt trust me? im being honest, geez sedih gila mcm ni :( huhh. whteva la daddy. up to you. so nw i wont go out fr like a week.HAD ENUFF WITH YOUR WORD DADDY. humm well bye.

HYPER

im goofieee woooaahhhh @,@

geez wht happen to this little fat ayu? she's having a mental problem. OH MY poor ayu poor ayu. gahhh ,friends please come and join me to snway lagoon :) PLEASEE *shinning eyes.im bored since got nthing to do ,lets fly awayyy wuuuuuu and no turning back please ? lets go straight ahead :) lets dance lets sing along OH HALIMAH JONGANG~ JONGANG JONGANG~ wht the? -,- see this is wht happen when i get 'goofiee' too much. currently in baju kurung just gt back from cousin's wedd ,and next week mybe head off to terngganu , YES finally can get away fr a while . then my dad ask me to drive his car along to trgganu, INSANE ENUFF? but daddy did you see hw big ur car is o,O

im sorry daddy, i cant drive it. grrr, so guess thts pretty much fr today ,

saturday,22 may .

GONE CRAZY

today i hd lots of fun, mcm ber bundle-bundle of FUN :) and i really wnt to say thnks guys fr cheer up my day. feeling a lil better :) . we went to swim and off to wallclimbing clebrated putri's brthday ! happy birthday drling:). so HEY PEOPLE IM HAPPY FOR NOW ! great news fr me right?:) if u notice smthing i already put four smiles and this is the fifth one :) ,and :) and :) (G)

GEEZ AYU ARE YOU REALLY OKAY? ARE YOU REALLY HAPPY?

errrr,

yes *fake smile

DUHH IM HAPPY WHEN IM WITH THEM ,

BUT NOW U DONT =___=

so guess im back being like ':(' AGAIN,

GOODBYE READERS, OFF TO FLAT FACE AGAIN -_____-

I WILL

pple often say tht im alwys like this. i like to make things more cmplicated, tell u the truth im jst too scared. and smtimes i even cant get the fact tht im like this. they already getting tired to hear me saying 'i had enuff, i dnt trust pple, no more guy in my life' and then tadaaa here's ayu with her new one. annoying enuff? yes i knw , i gt annoyed by myself too. cant help it. but seriously guys today i really had enuff. i mean ENUFF . im nt gonna lie to you again, mybe u might say this is jst my talk but i will mke sure tht i keep my word.im dissapointed with them and this dissapointmnt wont get me anywhere again. im finish guys, i cant deal with it anymore:( sorry,

IF

kalaulah semua boleh jadi indah, kalaulah kita boleh jadi gembira ,kalaulah semua boleh jadi sperti apa yang kita impikan, kalaulah dunia ini ada didalam genggaman kita, kalau la kita kuat untuk mengharungi lintasan lintasan yg mungkin membakar diri kita,kalaulah kawan sejati itu wujud,kalaulah kita dapat senyum untuk selama lamanya, kalaulah perkataan masalah itu tidak pernah wujud,kalaulah kita redha dgn apa yg trjadi,kalaulah kita snggup terima dugaan, kalaula kita boleh melepaskn org yg tersayang, kalaulah kita hebat, kalaulah kita boleh melihat masa depan,kalaulah kita boleh mengubah diri kita yg kian sudah jatuh ini,kalaulah kita boleh menghargai seseorg,kalaulah dunia ini tidak ada penghujungnya,kalaulah kita boleh disatukan lagi,kalaula masa boleh di undurkan,kalau lah sempat kita memeluk org yang sudah tiada,kalaulah kita jmpa cinta sejati,kalaulah kita berjaya hidup dan akhirat,kalaulah kita boleh myelesaikn masalah,kalaulah semua ini bleh brlaku.kalaulah.

ayu adila,

:(

18

maybe i know somewhere

deep in my soul

that love never lasts

and we've got to find other ways

to make it alone

keep a straight face

and i've always lived like this, keeping a comfortable distance

and up until now i had sworn to myself that I'm content with loneliness

because none of it was ever worth the risk

WASTING TIME

i had enuff and im done . im nt gonna make myself like this anymore. enuff is enuff.close this chpter and strt to write a new one. im tired being clueless . fr today onwards i promise to myself tht im not gonna easilly letting a stranger come into my life. friends is the best reltionship i cn go. others im nt gonna give a daym. so goodbye lover , and hello friends .

CAN I GO BACK TO SCHOOL?

I NEED TO IMPROVE MY ENGLISH SO DAYM BAD , O__O

MY ENGLISH SUCKS .GEEZ CAN SOMEONE TEACH ME PLEASE? LIKE IN THE SCHOOL ? GAHAAAAAA NUTS ALREADY

DEEP IN MY HEART

so guess im gonna strt writing like theres no tomorrw huh. feel like putting all up in here .okay so here it goes.

its bout my life thou,since this is my blog . im not feeling anything. i dnt knw whts up with me lately ,i make pple hurt and seriously i didnt mean tht to happen. mybe i shud just stay by my own. i do need pple around me but wht the use if i hurt them. it sucks to feel this way. plus,im nt tht ready to step in the world tht im nt even used to, *college life of course,* i dnt knw whether im guin to fit in and i really hope i cn make my dad&mum proud. ill let them down once and thts the first and the last. i hope. deep down im scared to death. but then i dnt knw wht makes me so scared ,maybe cause im nt pretty sure wht's up next. am i guin to success like others? am i guin to meet the one? am i guin to do the best out of me? this kind of things really makes me in dilema.and i hate to cross it. sometimes i wish i cn be a bird where i cn fly anytime anywhere tht i want to. go some places in one time . feel the wind blows and feel like the world belongs to me. but im nt a bird. im a human being, im a person who really need to fix herself up and explore things more. there alwys ups and downs in life.in order to succeed i hve to cross this all up by my own. crossing the ups part seems easy but the downs one tht smtimes makes me wanna kill myself. i hve to be strong ,yes i know. so thts why im trying my best to try to overcalm whts cuming towrds me soon. then i got problem with believing, i cant really put a trust on smeone's shoulder, i only trust myself. i get so fragile when it comes to this. the one prson tht i hardly put my trust on is my 'one' if you knw wht i mean. but fr the time being i belong to me,but in the past i had someone who i thot the right one. but then its nt working. and the word 'trust' involve in us,im trully sorry. so now i dn feel anything. i even dnt knw how to express me.i am the same prson dnt wrry . if you meet me i cn make u laugh,i cn make pple happy but i cant make the same to myself.mybe i need pple to do tht favor fr me i guess. and yes they did. my family my friends, thnks so much fr evrything. i love you guys. so guess u already tired and bored reading huh. so imma guin to stop fr a while, thnks fr reading.

WELL DONE

hello stranger, are u a stalker ? if you are then congratulation you're the biggest jerk :)

hello friends, do you read my blog? if you are then congratulation i heart you :)

hello enemies, stalk me enuff? if you are then congratulation you are total desperate:)

WHAT'S NEW AYU?

hello pple im back again, srry fr 'not updating my blog' gezz do u really care bout tht? gaha.guess not hah. well move onnn. so i jst cme back from aussie , i went there fr one week to date with umar idraki :') grr he's so cute ! wish i cn kdnaped him and put in my bag then fly to mlysia ,stay by my side forever drling . GOSH GILA KE AYU NI? yes, indeed. i miss him so much. die da besa, cumel gitu,awww terpikat hati ini :8) . so i really hd lots of fun stying there thou its freezing . 6 celcius, *dalam peti sejuk enuff?* haha imagine tht. and the worst part is tht i frgot to bring along my jacket , so i ws like,AM I GUIN TO FREEZE TO DEATH? ,to avoid me from dying (?) i bought a sweater,so im safe :) GEYHIEE. got lots of pictures tht i took , pretty one. but then i hv no mood to upload them all up in here so guess u cn open up my fb or ms to see half of the pictures :) and also u cn see umar's picture too ! 'cumel kan dia?cumel kan?:p' GAHAHA. OH im getting fatter , again ayu? yes,wht to do:( i ate alot kt aust cause sejuk kn. so mcm alwys wanna eat all the time. hunger fr food . grr. so i need to wrkout again. need to loose weight pple ! :) oh i msuk blaja this 26 july. gosh i got like 2 months and the half more. wht shud i do? but ive been thinking bout this, since im guin to college's life, so i need to appear as the 'new ayu' the more good stuff :) .so mybe ill try to slim down ! thts my aim! haha! i have too, its a NEED. so to all my fellow friends who r guin to step on to ur collge life i wish you all the best. work hard alrite and most imprtant part is DO NOT FORGET ME. i repeat DO NOT FORGET ME .haha :)

im single again. gosh, i dnt knw whether im happy or sad or empty,all i can say is

im sorry fr making you like this,seriously i didnt mean to. its nt tht i dn love you. its bcause we're different. and i cant deal with tht. i jst want you to be hnest with me but then its nt working. i do give you a change but i dn believe in second change and fr tht im trully sorry. i knw deep down u didnt mean to lie , i knw u are one great guy . but fr the time being im nt ready to face up another lie again. humm, i hope we cn be friend like we used to, im sorry.

be moreofwhat?

evrything tht i wish fr need to come true. its a NEED. selfish enuff? YES I AM.

HAD ENUFF

i hve no mood to ask you fr a hangout again. duhh, i want it too, but i just too mad at you, so guess im gonna let my mood swing me away fr a while. lets go watch movie , shall we? no 'we' anymore.let me go alone. it will be soo much better &*^*%$#&#@&$%)^)_&^

HIHI

to my dear aqila , i wish you all the best fr your college life. dn wrry bout anything okay? just call me and ill be there fr you. i promise tht :) since ur college pun dekt je kan. hihi. stdy hard okay ? i love you dear friend .

LOVELETTER

only two more days to go 'darling umar, here i come dear , once i see you ill hug you like there is no tmorrow dear , i miss you so much' fly over letter ~ fly away to umar~ geyhieee :)

GOODMOUUNING :p

its my mrning post dude :)i feel soo much better cmpared to last night. thinking bout all the problem really gimme the headache,fuhhh glad tht's over, ayu WOW how come u getup so early ? well let me tell you , em em noth-iing actually . i jst accidently wakeup early, strange err.ada hikmah ke? ade tak? haha. stop it. WELL ill tell you why i wokeup early, 12 in the noon cnsidered as early ayu? YES , haha. im nt usually a mrning type of prson. 2 pm is my daily wake, i knw its a lil bit too much but i cant help it. drop dead bila tidur. *ape nii?. haha move on pple , actually he alwys wakeme up evry mrning , he would call like 8 in the mrning and wish 'good morning syg' isn't he so sweet? :) then i was like 'membutaaa-___-' evrytime he would call me like 3 times jst to wake me up. haha kesian syg i sorg ni ? :) , srry dear but thts wht i love bout you. you care alot bout me . i love you , geyhieee :8) so now u knw why i wake early in the mrning right? cool.currntly im alone, nobdy home , WHERE THE HELL IS MY MUM? your daughter tgah lapa niii :( . please come home and bring along food mummy :) im craving , lol.so wht's the plan today? mybe go and hngout at qila's .you wait there okay drling , later ill come then we cn strt gossiping, really ayu? nahh, just kiddin. *fake face xp . so imma head to shower nw. assalamualaikum pple, :)

im sad :( i want my daddy . HUM.

LUST

i know you're in love with ur man. ur man is like the ocean in ur heart. ur breath,ur evrything. i know how it feel to be in love. but did it matter if u dump your friend because of him? answer me. do you willing to break our friendship fr the sake of him? 'i love him ,and i dn want to hurt him' but then wht bout me? do i even important in ur life? i were right, jst before ur man showed up. then im nothing to you. am i still cnsider as ur bestfriend? tell me. i miss us, i miss hanging out with you. 'he dont let me go out without him' . so he's like ur hsband nw huh? come on la, guin out with ur friends is nt even a crime. after all this time u were okay hgingout with us. imagine if i fall down and also ur byfriend, which one would you save first? pening(?) well duh no need to answer. whtever it is i still love you dear friend, and i alwys be there whenever u need me .humm. goodbye.

:)

sayang, this song is for you , i love you :')

(!) :)

hello people , im bored . BAHAHA why the earth im laughing? (!) whotevahh xp , u may say tht i like to repeat the word 'bored' almost in evry post there alwys hve the B word. haaaa mybe thts the only word tht cn dscribe my life fr nw i guess. actually am nt tht bored ,(pelik?) okay, putar-balik betul ayat, err hahaha cnfuse enuff? alrite ,let me explain pple . wht im trying to say is tht i am bored cause i dn hve idea wht to do fr like 2 more months, i dn own a job and eventually i dnt knw wht to do-_-. so thts my biggest prob . and the side word of 'am not tht bored' is actually stands fr i am nt bored fr i hve my family,byfriend,and my darlings besides me. so u get me? ill bet u do nw huh :) good then! so evrytime i feel bored i write, or calling pple and make them annoyed:p yes i like to dsturb crtain pple when im bored. dn get mad drlings, i love you thts why i dsturb you :'D geyhieeeeeee kiss kiss muah muahh. (?) I MISS ANUAR :) acehhhhh finally sebut pun nama dia :) anuar is my budak gedik i pnggil dia .ape sebab? well lets keep it a secret okayy. GAHAHA.anuar my darling I LOVE YOU . and please dnt let me down okay syg:) maii maiii 'like' same same , :P . SO move on pple, crrntly its 1.22 am and im bored, AGAIN AYU? yeahh haha sure nt bored by the word 'bored' err. humm i miss hazimah too, finally she decided to stdy in kl :) yeahhh boleh jumpa rinduuuuuuu . wht bout me? STILL nt sure yet,where to go ? where to go? lets go iceskating pple ! this wed? jummm. i hv trnsport but tong tong minyak okay drlings :) text me alrite? soo guess thts all the crap guys. :) BUHBYEEE

MUAHMUAHMUAH:P

I LOVE YOU

papa&mama--family--boyfriend--darlings--guitar--dumo--music

trully, :)

ZEROTIME

heyyo im bored-_- grrrrr. why it has to be like this. i hv 2 mnths more to spend my boringg time duing boring thing err. i thnk i shud do smthing to fill up my time huh.wht kind of stuff ha? well lets see i can workout, but thts nt even fun at all -_-, mybe i cn learn to cook ? THEN ill eat a lot then ill get fat . no wayyyy enuff is enuff haha. hum then wht? go out? since i jst got my car but dn feel like guin out. too lazy to drive , penat noii.then? blogging? yeah i am now. and it still boh-ring ! i think i shud go on vacation but then next week already off to aust. wahhhh really cant wait to hug UMAR IDRAKI .i miss him! dn wrry my dear by next week here i come darlingg:) hihi. so goodbye my. BUT then i thot mybe its a gud idea if i spend my 2 months stying there. at least umar will be there. guess not tht bored. tapi tak boleh cause nnti si dia merajuk fr leaving him.haha .dn wrry sayang. i wont leave you :) . so basically im stuck by the word 'BORED' ,stands fr 'brain on rust easy done'. err, weird.

kenapa?

currently listening to 'when i look at you' by miley cyrus :) im sooo in love with the song!im nt a big fan of miley thou but i do like most of her songs . it is so meaningful to me :') HAHA. okay weird, well lets put tht aside, btw u shud go utubing and search fr miley and type when i look bla bla, then click and listen ! haha! come on pple do it fr me drlingss :)) come come and join meeee muahahahaa.out of mind . well i already dwnload it thou:). and i also like the lyrics, i like em all ! why do i gt so excited? blame min, haha after reading her crazy blog i gt like a million things to write bout, duhh really gives me the idea thou,haha. keling betul.weiiii i gain sme weight again i guess. blame mama, why u alwys cook so good ? why? daymmmm. hahaha. really need to workout gain! and this time make sure double the time . yeahhh :P so tht ill hv a daboom body woohoooiii 0-0, he shud be proud , err haha okay stop ayuu. hey y'all da listen blum lagu tu? cepatla bukak dengar ish . well if u tk suka tak kesalaaa . i dn care *) , humm iceskating pple? text me if u're intrsted :) tehe .

thnks fr all the wishes and the celebration darlings :) ILOVEYOUU

GIVEMETHEANS,

hey ,im nt sure bout putting me back on the love track. yeahh i did say im ready and i love him blablabla and yes i do love him but at the same time i dn feel like im duin the right thing. do you wanna be with him? yes,very much . but can i give my trust to him? no, duh i dnt know. it aint easy fr someone to earn my trust jst like tht.yeah i am complicated . fr one year and 2 mnths ive been living my life by the status single and it feel great.thou smetimes i wished to hve smeone but i dnt hve the guts to put my trust on them cause i had enuff with them. and im so nt ready to face another again. but now things totally change, im trying and open up the chance to someone tht might desrve it, and yes im glad i did tht.and if you ask me do i love this man? my ans is yes . i love him so much and im willing to give my all. but do i trust him? yes im trying.is this man loves you? humm he says he loves me but did he really mean it? the way he treat me well i cn say tht he's a sweet talker .is he being hnest? maybe, im nt sure and thts really scared me off.im worried tht i cant put my trust on him. and nw i feel like im nt ready to commite. god, help me :(

IM BACK !

hello boys and girls :) hs been a long time since my last post huh, kind of busy lately with sme stuff .actually i do hv lots to write bout so i think i might summarize them all up okay? :) fyi i jst opened my braces so im no longer wht pple called 'braces girl' :) yeahh ! well move on , i got like a million stuff to talk bout but im hving a lil bit jam nw-_- grrrrrrrr haha.humm OH i had fever last week and so making me felt weird stuff ,i even puke in my dad's car, horrible . uhh, actually i did some diet but turns out i got the fever so basically it mess up my diet . but i did manage to lose a lil weight :) but jst nw i ate MCD huhh. so much of the diet drama. hahaha. apa lagi? haa im still waiting fr college which im nt sure wht college am i guin to go. but i got a big feeling tht i might enter lkw cause my dad said so. oh did i tell you i already hve my own car muahahahahahahahhaa SUKA:p ,finally! okay,today is 26, only two more days until i turn 18 :) really cant wait pple, dn frget my present pple :D tihiii ! OHH the major news ever. me being one year and 2 mnths single has cme to the end drling:) muahahaha . im guin to hve a byfriend :) so im glad to finally found someone ! we'll be official soon. so i guess thts all ! im a happy person fr the time being :P hahaha! lalala~

CHANGE

the word 'change' smtimes cn be a lil harsh.humm i dnt knw whts up with me but i kind of pissed off just now,lets say if you really like to mke friend with someone new u will accpted them by the way they are right? doesnt matter if they act like a tomboy or too girlish too crazy or too blurr ,its the way they are and u hve to accept it.i mean if u dn like the way they become then dnt make friend with them. simple as tht.dont ever change them.its only make things complicated.after all this year i dn hve any problem by the word 'change' until the last 2 hours. honestly,i dn like pple change me, and i know im stubborn.but i do know tht im okay by the way i am.its a small matter and yes u were right.but i dnt knw whts wrong with me smpai touching lebih. mybe i might begin to like you. duh,i dnt know . if you read this please dn ask me bout this post ever okay? im nt gonna say a word. well i accept your apology and im sorry too fr bringing this up.tht's all.so , goodnite again and this time i really mean it.

B'DAY

happy birthday my dearest daddy :) ILOVEYOUUUU ! i hope you like my present,it aint easy to find the prfect present fr someone tht means lots to you. so im quite glad :) 2/4 my dad's birthdy,6/4 my scond bro's pulak,24/4 my first bro's then 28/4 which is my birthday muahahahahahihihiiii cant wait to turn 18 :) lets see who frgot my b'day, oh bad news. jst nw ive been told tht one of my old friend is in coma.just hoping tht he'll get better soon. amin. humm well i guess thts all. lack of idea.hee srry. thnks fr reading :)

GSTUPID

heyo people:) howyaduin?

im duin fine and yeah i love evrything tht hppen to me lately.god bless :) BUT am nt too happy to find out tht my friends are fighting wit their own tears . its so sad and i hate pple make them like tht. stupid guys!why cant you take care of my friend's feeling? HELLO, let me tell you mr , this girl loves you so much tht she willing to giveup evrything just fr you! she dnt flirt with others,she's nt a hoo-haaa girl , she care lots bout you! but WHY ARE YOU DUING THIS TO HER MAN? jerk enuff? damnn,this is the main problem with guys. they just do not know how to treat a girl well.all they did is put up some sweet words then bumm you got her , then you strt acting like shit. why? i just dn get it.humm im so pissed .they are the major reason why most of my girlfriend let out tears. i just wish things diff. and fr you my dear yazmin and paan please dnt let this guy(jerks) get into you. do not let out you tears bcause of them. its not worth it okay? :( i hate seeing you guys like this.

09'

i miss the old days so bad :(

nak nangisssss!

IMISSYOUVOICE

so i just finished reading zima's blog, fuhh tht girl alwys hs smthing to write. overall i enjoy reading her blog since i miss her so much ! but then i got touched reading 'earth hour 2009' by her, she told bout how she and azri meet up fr the first time and it was so sweet :') i wish i cn hve sweet memories like tht.haha.but since im still solo so i guess mybe i cn get tht kind of meet up someday ! haha!okay, currently ive lost my voice, gila rockstar jugak lah suara ni. haiyahh bila lah nak ade suare blik? gezzyhh. oh yestrday i went out with qila ,we went to ou . we watched the 'lovely bones' and let me tell you smthing. the movie was GREAT .you shud go and watch it mann . zero rgret hihi :) so we had lots of fun and lots of weird things happend kt sne . with the pakguard and tht bangla guy haha sure you dn hve any idea wht im talking bout right?well let us keep it to ourself :) 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 TOODLES!

THEMIND

i always thot bout how am i guin to make myself feel cmfort when i step on to the college world.smtimes this thing gives me the chill haha and i dnt know .mybe its the whole new thing fr me ,i mean no more highschool instead im a grown up girl whose trying her best to fit in.just hoping tht im guin to make the best out of me .SO i got 2 choice, first is uitm and anther one would be limkokwing.am nt too thrill joining limkkwing cause all my friends r guin to uitm.soo hoping to get uitm ! :) . oh i had a weird dream lately where i kind of worried bout it. but pple often says tht its only a dream,you should'nt be worried and bla bla bla. thts true.but the thing is the dream tht i had involving pple who already 'dead' to me. so thts kinda weird.does it means tht mybe these pple will come into my life AGAIN? hummm,-_- well move onnn pplee. so guess thts all fr today. i dn hve much things to talk, a little dull .srry guys.

NAGGING

heyy, it is the middle of the night and im bored to death again ! and when im bored ill do things tht pple wouldnt do, haha. lets giggle HEHHEEHEHHE alrite done :) . so im currently still single and well ive been single fr one year and 2 months .and honestly pple, i feel great! but actually being a single is a tough job. i mean you hve to pretend tht you hve smeone but actually you are nt . haha. fr me being single is nt a bad thing at all,but i got to admit smtimes i kinda down cause i dnt have someone special' in other word 'boyfie' , but its a nrmal reaction. smtimes i would say things like 'babe,i need someone, and bla bla bla' and its only temporary, when its the end of the day i would say 'heyy,i love being single baby :)' .haha so basically its kinda up and down situation but its okay, its fun being confusing smtimes -_- hihi. and another thing tht when i went out with my babes they will bring along their boyfriend so its kinda akward sometimes(not always) when they kinda being manja-manjeing with each other,and when i feel akward ill laugh fr no reason,AKWARD:p but dnt get me wrong guys im cool bout you bring along your boyfie :) just only a lil split time im nagging bout it. haha. SO actually i dnt know why am i writing this single chapter but well im bored so i just wrote things tht popped out of me, so i guess ive been thinking bout how good being single is , mybe ill try to make myself feel better by looking the positive way of being single'-_-, yeahhh. well pple keep asking me why am i still single , do i hve flirt, do i a choosy kind of prson? well, im nothing like tht. first, i like to hve someone , i mean thts cool aite.but fr the time being i would like to stay by this status and mybe some day if i found the right one , mybe ill go to the next step :) so just go with the flow, theres nothing fr me to rush things up. plus, i am guin to college, and i am guin to meet new pple*ehem haha .so just chill and lets enjoy evry moment :) tehehehehe.