DEEP IN MY HEART

so guess im gonna strt writing like theres no tomorrw huh. feel like putting all up in here .okay so here it goes.

its bout my life thou,since this is my blog . im not feeling anything. i dnt knw whts up with me lately ,i make pple hurt and seriously i didnt mean tht to happen. mybe i shud just stay by my own. i do need pple around me but wht the use if i hurt them. it sucks to feel this way. plus,im nt tht ready to step in the world tht im nt even used to, *college life of course,* i dnt knw whether im guin to fit in and i really hope i cn make my dad&mum proud. ill let them down once and thts the first and the last. i hope. deep down im scared to death. but then i dnt knw wht makes me so scared ,maybe cause im nt pretty sure wht's up next. am i guin to success like others? am i guin to meet the one? am i guin to do the best out of me? this kind of things really makes me in dilema.and i hate to cross it. sometimes i wish i cn be a bird where i cn fly anytime anywhere tht i want to. go some places in one time . feel the wind blows and feel like the world belongs to me. but im nt a bird. im a human being, im a person who really need to fix herself up and explore things more. there alwys ups and downs in life.in order to succeed i hve to cross this all up by my own. crossing the ups part seems easy but the downs one tht smtimes makes me wanna kill myself. i hve to be strong ,yes i know. so thts why im trying my best to try to overcalm whts cuming towrds me soon. then i got problem with believing, i cant really put a trust on smeone's shoulder, i only trust myself. i get so fragile when it comes to this. the one prson tht i hardly put my trust on is my 'one' if you knw wht i mean. but fr the time being i belong to me,but in the past i had someone who i thot the right one. but then its nt working. and the word 'trust' involve in us,im trully sorry. so now i dn feel anything. i even dnt knw how to express me.i am the same prson dnt wrry . if you meet me i cn make u laugh,i cn make pple happy but i cant make the same to myself.mybe i need pple to do tht favor fr me i guess. and yes they did. my family my friends, thnks so much fr evrything. i love you guys. so guess u already tired and bored reading huh. so imma guin to stop fr a while, thnks fr reading.